I don’t usually last with people. Actually, I don’t even like keeping people around. Push them away, I wouldn’t go back. If someone pushes me away, I go back. hah. Anyway, I pushed her away a lot. I took her for granted once too many times. I just knew that she was going to stay no matter what I did.

I’m not down for a long distance relationships. I see my friends struggling and they’re already in the same time zone. My parents doesn’t know I’m bisexual and I have yet to tell them. I doubt it will be anytime soon. My dad’s against it, my mom has a lot more gay friends than I even know personally. Hah, but she’s the type for me to like, live happily ever with a guy. Guys are stupid. Always will be.

Anyway, my point is, if I was in the states, if I stayed home where I’m suppose to be, I would have asked her to be mine. I would have done sweet shit toshowher that I care because throughout our non-relationship, I did so little of it. I would speak but never prove. I would let my rhythm of words persuade her, but she doubted me because of my actions. Who to blame though?

She’s something special. I hate how her ex doesn’t know how to appreciate that. His stupidity ticks me off because I know for a fact I know how to speak what is on my mind, I know how to keep up the conversation. Looooool. She became more of a “Best friend” because I literally told everything. If you know me, you would know that’s hard for me to say. I don’t call just anyone bestfriend. I play around a lot and say that I have a lot, but I really don’t. The people who put up with me for three years are my best friends. lol k.

ANYWAY, my point is. I’m still contemplating on that whole long distance crap. I do miss her though. I do miss her being there for me.