I’m not going to get over that.
How obvious can you get!? Omfg.
R: D.A.
J: S.B.
K: ____
Omg. really… really. reallly….
bunch of stupid people. But what can I say? You are a guy.
‘nuff said.
Blunt Mentality.
|
I’m not going to get over that. How obvious can you get!? Omfg. R: D.A. Omg. really… really. reallly…. bunch of stupid people. But what can I say? You are a guy. ‘nuff said.
Pretty okay day. Just relaxed I guess. I’m over it by the way. Over you. Hah, I happy I am too. You weren’t worth it. At all. You’re just a cute face, but just like every other guy out there and I’m not looking for that. Somewhat honest and straight up and who will give me their time of day. That’s all I ever wanted. Simple. I’m not looking for those “You need to be like this & that.” If we click then we click. It’s just a bonus if you do/ have everything else. Sigh. Yesterday was pretty good [: Um, on the 25th I cried myself to sleep. Lol sounds like I’m being a baby but I kept thinking I was doing wrong. I kept thinking that I didn’t deserve to be loved, I felt like I didn’t even deserve to live. Is that bad? hah. Anyway, I let it go. It was a new day and I was excited because I was going to spend time with my trio [: Took my final for Honors and Health. Did pretty good, I guess. Um, I told Jessica and Sam I was over him. I mean, I was listening to Ronald when he told me to just make a deadline for myself. “If you know nothing is going to work out, then just move on.” So I did and I’m happy I did because I don’t even know why I liked him, so why the hell am I going to chase after someone like that? So stupid. He doesn’t deserve anything from me. At all. So Sam, Jessica and I went to eat at a noodle place. It was pretty good! hah, I fail at chop sticks. Went to commissary to get chips for that night, watched soccer for a bit, stayed in UCO (rec center? Kind of). Took sticker pictures and went to the guy section in jusco to dress up. HAHA It reminded me of the time I was with @allysanicole for my birthday. That was pretty fun. Anyway, waited til Sam got done with violin and just left to Sam’s house. Ate Toyoyaki? LOL I will never be Japanese but I keep thinking I am because that’s the only people I hang out nowadays. Took a lot of pictures that day. Haha watched a stupid love movie. I kept asking Jessica to translate because there was no subtitles. It was so stupid though. This girl is retarded. She gets jumped, gets a player, gets cheated on, gets raped, get an older boyfriend and he treats her like a toy. Then she gets an actual boyfriend, but the last boyfriend beats him up. LOL omg it’s so stupid. whatever. 15 minutes before the end, I got bored and called Steven. LOL talked about fred. He kept saying “Don’t give up. Don’t give up.” -__- I will give up. Shush. Lol I already did anyway. But then we finished the movie, Jessica was talking to Kento and then Steven ended up talking to Sam and I was laying there like… wtf. I’m so foreveralone. -___- ): I ended up tearing up cos freaking Steven “Don’t give up.” Lol whatever. And then yeah. Okay. ANYWAY. Ended up falling asleep and Jessica said I snore… HAHA. I am so thankful I don’t live in a cho (Japanese house) because it’s freezing in there~ omg. He’s really trying to play match maker. It ain’t working though… At all. He seriously just canceled the practice so I can hang out with Fred…. fuck everyone in this damn earth. “Just cos you canceled it doesn’t mean he’s going to go.” “He might.” “MIGHT” -___- Anyway, my deadline is tomorrow. Seriously. I’m done after this. I can’t not be comfortable around someone. I can’t not be able to talk to you even if I JUST like you. Guys are overrated anyway. Sticking to me just growing old and having 60 cats. Oh and I feel like you don’t trust me. What did I do for you not to trust me? Seriously. Whatever. Okay anyway, I’m feeling mad again. lol I hate this feeling. Always will. Um. I hated honors. Didn’t do shit in Photography even though that’s my final class. HAHA. Did an essay for culinary and didn’t do anything after that. Had lunch. went to seminar (study hall). Maryelle took a bunch of pictures of and did my final for photography :P I owe her one because everyone ended up liking it anyway. Um. I’m not in the mood to write. I just honestly want to talk to my best friends atm. I feel so empty without knowing if they’re okay or not. k whatever. bye. talking to the guy you likes friends are like… the most helpful thing ever. Haha. Thank you M. [: But I should like talk to him more. and in person too. AND if i don’t see anything working out then just move on. But M is right, he’s shy and he won’t talk to you first. hahaha -____- ok. Bye [: Not as giddy as last night, but it’s okay. Woke up in a good mood, I was walking to the bus and it started to snow :3 Lol I was so happy! I was listening to music and looked out the window like I was in a movie… haha. Um, walked with Jessica to the lockers and told her to put my food in her locker. I was right in front of Fred’s locker and he was like, “Way to block my locker you guys.” haha! I moved and he smiled at me and yeah. :3 We took our test in honors… everyone failed because we didn’t know half the shit on it. Not even half, most of it. The only thing we knew was the essay question. Fail. I’m stupid. It started to snow REALLY bad outside and I was staring outside when I was almost done & I was having my fantasy moment of how Fred and I would look like together…. haha. Ok.~~~ Fred, Sam and I walked to class. He talked to me finally. All three of us were just talking about the snow and when she left me so I can ask him about Friday, I chickened out. And when I was ready, Kento was with him.. HAHA Kento is an ass. I kept turning around and he looked at me and smiled like he knew I liked Fred… HAHAH fuck. Well, I did ask Fred if he was busy on Thursday, he said, “Maybe, I have soccer.” Whatever. I didn’t ask further questions. Sex ed is so boring. I got bored. Final for Algebra. I got a B on it, but I still have an A in the class (: Yay. Had lunch with Sam and Jessica. Sometimes Nikka cos she keeps walking out of the class room. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKKAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I’m a horrible friend, but whatever. :3 Talked with Carmela outside the study hall room. Talked to Sasha, Abi and Maryelle. Um. didn’t do much. My attempt to try to talk to Fred during study hall was stupid. I went outside and sat on the floor with Kara and he went to the bathroom, so I was like… sitting in the hall. I wanted to talk to him, but I said hi to megan and we started having a conversation. I turned around real quick and he was already walking to his class. I said, “Hi Fred.” and he waved. lol fail. I’m dumb. Waited for Sam, but she took awhile. So I went to go find her and I bumped into Ronald and I was like, “Oh hey!” and he’s like “Suuuup!” haha not much of an intro but I haven’t talked to him in person, so it’s okay. Found Sam, walked with her to the lockers, I looked straight ahead and I saw Fred standing by himself and I was like, “Sam, it’s my chance. He’s by himself.” And she was like, “goooo!” I looked up and saw his friends looking down at us and I saw them smiling when they saw me…. fags. Fred asked Sam how Chemistry was and he didn’t even say anything to me. Ok… He stood there and we went in the building and she was like, “Do something!!” So like, I opened the door and he was headed to the stairs and I said, “hey! um, you’re busy on thursday!?” “Maybe”. —headed up the stairs—- “How are you going to walk away when I’m trying to talk to you…” —- “I said maybe”. I walked away. And just waited for Sam and told her what happened. I looked back and looked at the edge of the stairs and him and his friends were looking at us. Oh that was just great. Yknow, I really am going to give up. I mean, so much for “Letting it flow”. So much for “Effortlessly.” Bullshit. I don’t wanna do this for the next how many months and just being plain out shy around him. I hate the rules against everything. “Text him every other day so you don’t come off too much. So you don’t make it too obvious.” Bro, why doesn’t he text me? I know he’s shy, but it’s like: NOT INTERESTED written all over, right? Okay. I should be over this. I don’t even know why I like you in the first place. Whatever. I texted him last night, so it’s my night off from smiling. Kbye fuglys. I admit it, I like you. K He went to sleep. I’m going to sleep. (: Happy suppose to be one year. Lol I just had to. It’s the 23rd. Anyway, I started off my day bad. Knowing it’s my first day of finals and I wake up to these responses to my posts, I’m an emotional person. So let’s leave it at that, but I went on facebook and woke up to what my best friends said to me. I don’t know if should post it up, but it meant a lot because they really do know who I am if they don’t hesitate to tell me who I am when I ask. Also, Carmela, Keonii and Tara cheered me up while we were waiting for the bus (: Well during the first period of the day, watched youtube videos and the football game while Sakura, Sasha & DJ were yelling for the Patriots to win (: Just edited some videos for photography and talked to Samantha (Sam) about life. As always. During lunch… Oh how funny it was. Sam & Jess kept telling me to start a conversation and I only talk about Fred.. Exqueeze me….well actually I don’t always talk about him. HAHAH but just about. :3 they said I should just talk to him first cos he’s too damn shy and I forgot what they said but I’m super giddy atm. I’ll talk about it at the end. Went to Mr. Best’s room to casually bump into Fred… HAHA. I was walking out of the door and I messed with “Tom” for a bit and Fred was right there… and I got scared so I left. LOL I talked to JB during bio. HHAHA I don’t what I did to have such a good day today, but I did & I thank God for answering my prayers because that’s all I have been asking for. OKAY SO HERE’S WHAT WENT DOWN: We had a sub during bio (which is my only exam today). The teacher told us that we’re going to have an exam, so all of us got ready, got in our seats and spread out so we can’t “cheat”. The test looked so familiar until someone said, “We took this last week.” HAHA so I guess that’s what our final was? Or something. Such a fail, but I was happy cos I copied off Joana. Um, talked to JB about how I like Fred. And what I should do. he’s so caring of me :3 But he said to just talk to him! And that I should make the first move even tho he’s shy. And just work ittttt ;) HAHA jk. but yeah. OKAY so then I waited for Sam and told her what happened with Fred while going to the lockers and then I didn’t know he was behind me… kinda awkward. HAHA but I wasn’t talking that loud. I was talking to her about Health and then I forgot there was a packet due tmrw and all of a sudden I turned around and blurted out “Fred, did you do the hw for health?” and once I said something, he dropped his book … like he was shocked that I talked to him or something. HAHA I turned around and started laughing to Sam cos I could not believe I talked to him…. I heard him say “Oh pfft, no.” and I just walked out like I didn’t hear him… I’m horrible. HHA. Went home, stayed in a bit and went to the NEX with Nikka. She told me to ask Fred to go with us on Thursday…. In person.. HAHA. Oh geez. I’m scared. Well we went home, I couldn’t use the computer cos my mom had to use it. So I did health homework, texted sam the whole day and watched Lion King. Around 8, I texted Fred… HAHA. He didn’t reply. Like for about 20 minutes. I was getting tired of waiting. I called him on private, he answered but didn’t say anything and I hung up. A second later, I get a text from him… HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA omg. That made my night. Oh and we’re talking about how he gets dark during summer and he said, “Well I work at the pool, so i get black.” And I was like, “Oh well… that’s nasty. I’m not going to visit you.” and he said “well i’m not that black.” HAHAHAHAHAH omg. Idk if that meant something, but I was just super giddy. I stopped texting everyone and just focused on him & I’m still texting him. Lol shit… I haven’t felt like this in awhile. K well I’m done being giddy. :3 kbye. Today was pretty chill, I guess. Well actually the night was great! You just made my night so much better :3 I was suppose to study for bio and I was really committed to it too, but I was watching The Walking Dead until 2am and then woke up at 1pm.. haha. Totally messed up my sleeping pattern. Then I had breakfast and went in my room to just study. Stared at my biology text book… Read like a page, got frustrated because I kept rereading it and I still didn’t understand it, so I got frustrated and threw the book on the ground… hahah! Watched like 3 movies in my room and I ate dinner with the family and went to the main base to watch Immortals! It was a good movie. While going to main base, I was texting Sam and Jess the whole entire time. Since it’s a 30 minute drive it was okay. But I texted Fred… I don’t know what I was hoping for… for him to text back? For him to just at least talk to me, but that whole 30 minutes he didn’t answer. I looked at my folder that he has in my phone and I guess I haven’t texted/ talked to him for 11 days? lol went inside the movie theater and just sat there texting Sam. 5 minutes before the movie was suppose to go on, my phone vibrates and it says: New Message: Fred. HAHAHA i was super giddy. I told Sam that he texted me :) haha! I told her that I’m going to text her when the movie ends, but I just ended up texting Fred during the movie :3 I really wanted to talk to him and our conversations were funny. Haha :3 oh how I missed talking to him. LOL sam was like “You guys are back on the boulder.” HAHAH okay. Well he slept at 10 like always and after the movie my family & i got some mcdonalds, ate in the car and now I’m here. (: Good day. Church tmrw~ Continue of today.
kbye (: |
